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"  He  bowed  in  a  manner  most  polished, 
Thus  soothing  her  impulses  wild  ;  " 


NAVTICAL 
I/AY«  OF  A 
LANDSMAN 


WAL  I/ACE  IRWIW 

author  of  'THE  I/OVE  SONNETS  OF 

AHOODI/VM*  "THE  RVBAIYAT  OF 
OMAB.  KJHAYYAM.JVNIOB»  t  •  « 

WITH  Il/I/VSTRATI  ON5 

PETBIt 


N  E  "W  Y  O  B,  K 
DODD.MBAD  tf  COMPANY 
1  9  O  4 


I    , 

A 


Copyright  1904  by 
Dodd,  Mead  &  Company 


Copyright  1903,  1904  by 
The  Curtis  Publishing  Co. 

Published  September,  1904 


NAUTICAL  LAYS 
OF  A  LANDSMAN 


A  Dash  to  the  Pole       Page    3 

The  Tar  and  the  Reporter     9 

The  Rhyme  of  the  Chivalrous  Shark     ...  13 

A  Grain  of  Salt     19 

Eberly's  Fair  Young  Bride     23 

Little   Emma         29 

The  Forbearance  of  the  Admiral 35 

The  Sailor's  Stovepipe 39 

The  Fate  of  the  Cabbage  Rose       47 

Sensitive  Sydney 53 

The  Ghost  of  Simeon  Bean 57 

The  Constant  Cannibal  Maiden      63 

The  Deep  Sea  Gudge     67 

Reminiscence           77 

The  Dutiful  Mariner     81 

The  Battle  of  Clothesline  Bay          87 

The  Boat  that  Ain't       93 

Captain  Pink  of  the  Peppermint     97 

Vain  Hope !            103 

What  Ho !    She  Blows 107 

Industrious  Carpenter  Dan     113 

The  Ballad  of  Hagensack       119 

Andy  Caruso          I2$ 

Aunt  Nerissa's  Muffin     ... I2g 

Meditations  of  a  Mariner       I35 


ILLUSTRA1 IONS 


*'  He  bowed  in  a  manner  most  polished, 
Thus  soothing  her  impulses  wild ;" 

FRONTISPIECE 

"  We  bumped  right  into  the  Arctic, 
Me  and  me  matey,  John." 

FACING  PAGE  3 

" '  The  first  step's  a  slow  step,  but  now  here 

comes  a  daisy  one,' 

He  hollered;  and  what  f oiler ed  showed  the 
words  he  spoke  was  true.'  " 

FACING  PAGE  39 

"  When  down  in  the  slime,  without  ary  word  o' 

warnin', 

The  Gudge  I  seen  in  the  seaweed  green  a- 
winkin'  his  indolent  eye." 

FACING  PAGE  67 

'  What  is  the  scent  from  yon  vessel  blown?' " 

FACING  PAGE  87 


DASH 
THE  POLE 


"  We  bumped   right   into  the   Arctic, 
Me  and  me  matey,  John."   ,    , 


A  DASH  TO 
THE   POLE 


'Twas  out  on  the  Archipelago 

In  the  region  of  the  Horn, 
Somewhere  in  the  locks  of  the  Equinox 

And  the  Tropic  of  Capricorn. 

We  bumped  right  into  the  Arctic, 

Me  and  me  matey,  John. 
We  was  near  to  frizz  by  the  slush  and  the  slizz, 

For  we  hadn't  our  flannels  on. 

Who'd  V  thought  that  a  tried  explorer 
Would  start  for  the  Pole  like  that, 

With  openwork  hose  and  summer  clo'es 
And  a  dinky  old  Panama  hat? 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


We  could  see  the  Eskimoses, 

Far  out  on  the  ice  ashore, 
A-turnin*  up  of  their  noses 

At  the  comical  clo'es  we  wore. 

We  could  hear  the  bears  on  the  glaciers 

A-laughing  kind  of  amused, 
And  there  we  stud  in  our  seashore  duds 

A-looking  that  shamed  and  confused! 

The  whirl-i-gig  Arctic  breezes 

They  biffled  our  bark  abaft, 
And  the  ice-pack  shook  with  our  sneezes, 

(For  there  was  a  terrible  draft). 

"  Friend  John,"  I  yells  to  me  matey, 
"  Stand  ready  and  warp  the  boat! " 

But  I  suddenly  found  that  John  was  drowned, 
And  me  alone  and  afloat. 


OF    A    LANDSMAN 


I  was  chilled  to  the  heart  with  terror 
At  the  loss  of  me  matey,  John, 

I  was  chilled  to  the  feet,  for  I  beg  to  repeat, 
That  I  hadn't  me  flannels  on. 

When  all  of  a  dog-goned  sudden 

A  peak  riz  over  the  sun. 
I  swear  on  me  soul  'twas  the  Arctic  Pole  — 

Then  what  d'ye  think  I  done? 

Then  what  d'ye  think  I  done,  sir, 
When  that  pinnacle  swung  in  view? 

I  done  what  a  wight  in  a  similar  plight 
With  a  similar  Pole  would  do. 

I  swung  the  hand  of  the  compass 
Till  straight  to  the  South  points  she, 

And  soon  I  divined  that  the  Pole  was  behind 
And  me  in  the  open  sea. 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


I  landed  next  week  at  Coney 

Where  I  hitched  me  bark  to  a  post, 

Then  I  fell  in  a  faint  from  pneumony 
Which  I  caught  on  the  Arctic  coast  — 

Out  there  on  the  Archipelago, 

In  the  region  of  the  Horn, 
Somewhere  in  the  locks  of  the  Equinox 

And  the  Tropic  of  Capricorn. 

And  that  is  why  in  summer, 
When  it's  most  undeniably  warm, 

I  dresses  in  felt  and  pelican  pelt, 
Which  is  suitable  clo'es  for  storm. 

And  it's  highly  correct  and  proper 
To  start  for  the  Pole  like  that; 

But  I  nevermore  goes  in  me  openwork  hose 
And  me  dinky  old  Panama  hat. 


THE  TAR  AND  THE 
REPORTER 


THE  TAR  AND  THE 
REPORTER 


"  O  sailor  coming  from  a  cruise, 
I  represent  the  Daily  News  — 

What  tidings  do  you  bring?*' 
"  Oh  nothing  that  the  likes  of  youse 

Would  think  was  anything. 

"  Our  ship  was  shattered  in  the  squalls, 
Our  crew  was  et  by  cannibals, 

Our  passengers  was  drowned, 
Our  Capting  sank  with  piteous  calls 

And  nevermore  was  found. 
"  Three  months  I  lived  upon  a  bun 
And  thus  survived,  the  only  one  — 

But  otherwise  we  made 
A  commonplace,  eventless  run 

From  Tyre  to  Adelaide." 


THE  RHYME  OF  THE 
CHIVALROUS  SHARK 


THE  RHYME  OF  THE 
CHIVALROUS  SHARK 


Most  chivalrous  fish  of  the  ocean, 

To  ladies  forbearing  and  mild, 
Though  his  record  be  dark,  is  the  man-eating  shark 

Who  will  eat  neither  woman  nor  child. 

He  dines  upon  seamen  and  skippers, 

And  tourists  his  hunger  assuage, 
And  a  fresh  cabin  boy  will  inspire  him  with  joy 

If  he's  past  the  maturity  age. 

A  doctor,  a  lawyer,  a  preacher, 

He'll  gobble  one  any  fine  day, 
But  the  ladies,  God  bless  'em,  he'll  only  address  'em 

Politely  and  go  on  his  way. 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


I  can  readily  cite  you  an  instance 
Where  a  lovely  young  lady  of  Breem, 

Who  was  tender  and  sweet  and  delicious  to  eat, 
Fell  into  the  bay  with  a  scream. 


She  struggled  and  flounced  in  the  water 

And  signaled  in  vain  for  her  bark, 
And  she'd  surely  been  drowned  if  she  hadn't  been 
found 

By  a  chivalrous  man-eating  shark. 


He  bowed  in  a  manner  most  polished, 

Thus  soothing  her  impulses  wild ; 
"  Don't  be  frightened,"  he  said,  "  I've  been  properly 
bred 

And  will  eat  neither  woman  nor  child." 


14 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


Then  he  proffered  his  fin  and  she  took  it  — 
Such  a  gallantry  none  can  dispute  — 

While  the  passengers  cheered  as  the  vessel  they 

neared 
And  a  broadside  was  fired  in  salute. 

And  they  soon  stood  alongside  the  vessel, 
When  a  life-saving  dingey  was  lowered 

With  the  pick  of  the  crew,  and  her  relatives,  too, 
And  the  mate  and  the  skipper  aboard. 

So  they  took  her  aboard  in  a  jiffy, 

And  the  shark  stood  attention  the  while, 

Then  he  raised  on  his  flipper  and  ate  up  the  skipper 
And  went  on  his  way  with  a  smile. 

And  this  shows  that  the  prince  of  the  ocean, 

To  ladies  forebearing  and  mild, 
Though  his  record  be  dark,  is  the  man-eating  shark 

Who  will  eat  neither  woman  nor  child. 


A  GRAIN  OF 
SALT 


A  GRAIN  OF  SALT 


Of  all  the  wimming  doubly  blest 
The  sailor's  wife's  the  happiest, 
For  all  she  does  is  stay  to  home 
And  knit  and  darn  and  let  'im  roam. 

Of  all  the  husbands  on  the  earth 
The  sailor  has  the  finest  berth ; 
For  in  'is  cabin  he  can  sit 
And  sail  and  sail  —  and  let  'er  knit. 


19 


EBERLY'S   FAIR 
YOUNG  BRIDE 


EBERLY'S  FAIR 
YOUNG  BRIDE 


Oh  the  Sauntering  Sue  fell  into  the  squalls 
A-blowing  from  Portsmouth  town. 

She  was  laden  with  pork  and  cannon  balls, 
So  it's  natteral  she  went  down. 

And  the  sea  it  riz  with  a  terrible  sizz 
While  the  Sue  on  the  rocks  she  scraped; 

And  of  all  the  crew  that  her  anchor  drew 
Not  more  than  a  thousand  escaped. 

And  when  the  sailors  had  waded  to  shore 
And  their  feet  on  the  hearthstone  dried, 

They  hated  to  think  of  Eberly  Moore 
And  Eberly's  fair  young  bride. 

LJ  23 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


With  the  Sauntering  Sue  on  the  ocean  floor 
And  them  cannon  balls  rolling  inside, 

They  hated  to  think  of  Eberly  Moore, 
And  Eberly's  fair  young  bride. 

So  they  talked  in  whispers  of  euchre  games, 

Of  ladies  and  Eskimo, 
Of  vulgar  fractions  and  proper  names, 

And  the  works  of  Byron  and  Poe. 

And  some  of  'em  shuddered  and  looked  at  the  door 

With  a  sort  of  a  nervous  pride ; 
But  they  never  referred  to  Eberly  Moore 

Or  Eberly's  fair  young  bride. 


In  a  neat  little  Kansas  grocery  store, 
Far  leagues  from  the  turbulent  tide, 

Sat  the  thoughtful  grocer,  Eberly  Moore, 
Along  of  his  fair  young  bride. 


24 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


And  Eberly  says  to  his  bride,  says  he, 

"  It's  strange  but  undoubtedly  so 
That  we've  never  yet  gone  on  the  bounding  sea, 

And  we  never  intend  to  go/' 

And  far  away  on  the  wreck-strewn  shore 

Where  the  crew  of  the  Sue  reside, 
They  never  refer  to  Eberly  Moore 

Or  Eberly's  fair  young  bride. 


LITTLE  EMMA 


LITTLE  EMMA 


Sailor,  sitting  by  the  sea, 

Nigh  the  painted  rocks  of  Barrel, 
Why  dost  weep  so  mournfully 

On  a  vacant  sugar  barrel? 

"  Think  me  not,"  the  sailor  said, 
"  Merely  hypochondriac,  oh  — 

Hast  thou,  stranger,  any  shred, 
Just  a  bite,  of  plug  tobacco?" 

Though  he  took  the  plug  and  ate, 
Undiminished  his  dilemma. 

Scarce  he  could  articulate, 

"  She  is  gone,  my  Little  Emma !  " 

I  29 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


"  Little  Emma,"  cried  I ;  "  Who 

Was  she?    Kitten,  dog  —  or  maiden, 

Left  by  you,  as  sailors  do, 
In  some  inconvenient  Aiden? 

"  Little  Emma !  dainty  name, 

Quite  suggestive  of  a  tale,  sir  " — 

Quoth  the  tar,  "  It  were  the  same. 
Little  Emma  was  a  whale,  sir. 

**  Kindly  sir,  forgive  my  wail, 

These  unmanly  tear-drops  —  blow  it  !- 
If  you've  gone  and  lost  a  whale 

Ain't  that  loss  enough  to  know  it? 

"  Emma  was  so  light  of  touch, 
Emma  was  so  deft  and  smiling, 

Emma  was  so  true  —  so  much  — 
So  expansively  beguiling! 


OF     A     LANDSMAN 


"  If  she'd  only  asked  me  I 

Would  have  stroked  her  little  chinny; 
If  she'd  only  let  me  try 

I'd  have  held  her  finny-finny. 

"  Should  you  look  for  Emma,  you 
Might  discern  her  by  her  color, 

By  her  cheeks,  which  wear  the  hue 
Of  an  ironclad  —  only  duller. 

"  When  my  Emma  nigh  you  goes 

Mention  me  to  her  as  many 
Times  as  all  her  flips  have  toes. 

(Don't  be  scared  —  they  haven't  any.)" 

"  Sailor,"  in  amaze  spake  I 

"  Since  at  sea  so  much  you've  seen,  sir  "- 
Quoth  the  sailor  with  a  sigh, 

"  Not  at  sea  —  I've  never  been,  sir." 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"  But  the  Little  Emma  whale, 

Since  unceasing  you  regret  her"  — 

Quoth  the  sailor,  turning  pale, 
"  Think  of  it  —  I  never  met  her  !  " 


So  I  left  him  to  his  grief, 

Nigh  the  painted  rocks  of  Barrel, 
Wringing  out  his  handkerchief 

In  the  vacant  sugar  barrel. 


THE  FORBEARANCE 
OF  THE  ADMIRAL 


THE  FORBEARANCE 
OF  THE  ADMIRAL 

I  ain't  afeard  o'  the  Admiral, 

Though  a  common  old  tar  I  be, 
And  I've  oftentimes  spoke  to  the  Admiral 

Expressin'  a  bright  idee; 
For  he's  very  nice  at  takin'  advice 

And  a  tractable  man  is  he. 

For  once  I  says  to  the  Admiral, 

Unterrified,  though  polite, 
"  Don't  think  me  critical,  Admiral, 

But  yer  vessel  ain't  sailin'  right ; 
For  our  engine  should  be  burnin'  wood 

And  our  rattlelines  should  be  tight." 

But  when  I  spoke  to  the  Admiral 

He  wasn't  inclined  to  scold, 
Though  me  words,  addressed  to  the  Admiral, 

Was  intimate-like  and  bold, 
(But  he  was  up  on  deck  at  the  time 

And  I  was  down  in  the  hold). 


35 


THE   SAILOR'S 
STOVEPIPE  te- 


"  '  The  first  step's  a  slow  step,  but  now  here  comes  a  daisy 
one,'  he  hollered  ;  and  -what  follered  showed  the  words 
he  spoke  was  true." 


THE  SAILOR'S 
STOVEPIPE 


The  crew  of  us,  a  few  of  us,  was  up  on  deck  a- 

dancin'  of 

Two  steps  and  new  steps  with  light  fantastic  toe, 
When  Closon,  the  bos'n,  says,  "  What's  the  use  of 

prancin*  of 
Glide  steps  and  side  steps  what  anyone  can  go? 

"  Hornpipes    and    cornpipes    and    gaspipes    is    fun 

enough, 

Hoe-downs  and  shake-downs  is  easy  dancin'  too, 
Minuets  and  mignonettes  and  barbettes  I've  done 

enough, 

But  the  reel  old  sailor's  stovepipe  is  more  difficult 
to  do." 


39 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


Then  bowing   once   and   bowing   twice   the   bos'n 

shook  his  limber  toes, 
Then  do-see-do  and  do-see-don't  and  count  one 

two, 
Then  fore  and  aft  he  shook  our  craft  beneath  his 

tatting  timber  toes  — 

"It's  the  reel  old  sailor's  stovepipe  I'm  a-going 
for  to  do." 


He  closed  his  eyes,  he  slapped  his  thighs,  he  turned 

a  double  summer-sault, 
He  corn-hoed  and  pigeon-toed  in  every  sort  of 

way, 
He  keel-hauled  and  reel-hauled  —  I  never  seen  a 

rummer  salt  — 

And  all  the  time  a-whistlin'  "  The  Road  to  Man- 
delay." 


40 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  The  first  step's  a  slow  step,  but  now  here  comes  a 

daisy  one," 
He  hollered :  and  what  follered  showed  the  words 

he  spoke  was  true, 
For  he  hopped  past  the  mizzen  mast  and  hoofed  it 

like  a  crazy  one 

Till  both  his  eyes  was  saucer  size  and  both  his 
cheeks  was  blue. 


He  jigged  and  jounced  till  up  he  bounced  yards 

high  above  the  gunnel-tops, 
A-swingin'  like  a  circus  tike  from  dory  yards  to 

stays, 
Then  jiggin'  through  the  riggin*  too  he  slid  along 

the  funnel  tops 

And  doffed  his  hat  and  skun  the  cat  in  forty- 
seven  ways. 


01 

fes^y 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"  O  stop  before  ye  drop  before  our  eyes !  "  the  sailors 

cautioned  him 
And  blew  the  danger  whistle  twice  and  rung  the 

engine  bell. 
"  No  cause  for  dread,"  the  Capting  said,  "  he's  doing 

what's  been  portioned  him 

And  that's  the  sailor's  stovepipe,  which  he's  dan- 
cin'  very  well." 


Then  clingin'  high  and  swingin'  high,  the  bos'n,  like 

a  catter-pult, 
Free  and  fair  shot  through  the  air  toward  the 

waters  green, 
Prancin'   still   and   dancin'   still   he   hit   the   ocean 

splatter-pult, 

Skipped  and  tripped  and  double  flipped  and  van 
ished  from  the  scene. 


42 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  Dish  him  out  and  fish  him  out,"  the  Capting  said, 

"  He's  done  enough 

Shake-downs  and  hoe-downs  to  satisfy  the  crew, 
Hornpipes  and  cornpipes,  he's  proved  to  us,  is  fun 

enough, 

But  the  reel  old  sailor's  stovepipe  is  more  danger 
ous  to  do." 


43 


THE  FATE  OF  THE 
CABBAGE  ROSE 


THE  FATE  OF  THE 
CABBAGE  ROSE 


They  was  twenty  men  on  the  Cabbage  Rose 
As  she  sailed  from  the  Marmaduke  Piers, 

For  I  counted  ten  on  me  fingers  and  toes 
And  ten  on  me  wrists  and  ears. 

As  gallant  skippers  as  ever  skipped, 

Or  sailors  as  ever  sailed, 
As  valiant  trippers  as  ever  tripped, 

Or  tailors  as  ever  tailed. 

What  has  became  of  the  Cabbage  Rose 
That  steered  for  the  oping  sea, 

And  what  has  became  of  them  and  those 
That  went  for  a  trip  in  she? 


47 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


Oh,  a  maiden  she  stood  on  the  brown  wharfs  end 

A-watching  the  distant  sail, 
And  she  says  with  a  sigh  to  her  elderly  friend, 

"  I'm  trimming  my  hat  with  a  veil." 

A  roundsman  says  to  a  little  Jack  tar, 

"  I  orfentimes  wonder  if  we  —  " 
And  the  Jackey  replied  as  he  bit  his  cigar, 

"  Aye,  aye,  me  hearty,"  says  he. 

And  a  beggar  was  setting  on  Marmaduke  Piers 

Collecting  of  nickels  and  dimes, 
And  a  large  stout  party  on  Marmaduke  Piers 

Was  a-reading  the  Morning  Times. 

Little  they  thought  of  the  Cabbage  Rose 

And  the  whirl-i-cane  gusts  a-wait, 
With  the  polly-wows  to  muzzle  her  bows 

And  bear  her  down  to  her  fate. 


48 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


But  the  milliner's  lad  by  the  outer  rim 

He  says  to  hisself,  "  No  hope! " 
And  the  little  brown  dog  as  belonged  to  him 

Sat  chewing  a  yard  o'  rope. 

And  a  pale  old  fisherman  beat  his  breast 

As  he  gazed  far  out  on  the  blue, 
For  the  nor'east  wind  it  was  blowing  west  — 

Which  it  hadn't  no  right  to  do. 

But  what  has  became  of  the  Cabbage  Rose 

And  her  capting,  Ezra  Flower? 
Dumd  if  I  cares  and  dumd  if  I  knows  — 

She's  only  been  gone  an  hour. 


49 


SENSITIVE 
SYDNEY 


SENSITIVE 
SYDNEY 


'Twas  all  along  the  Binder  Line 

A-sailin'  of  the  sea 
That  I  fell  out  with  Sydney  Bryne 

And  Sid  fell  out  with  me. 

He  spoke  o'  me  as  "  pie-faced  squid  " 

In  a  laughin'  sort  o'  way, 
And  I,  in  turn,  had  spoke  o'  Sid 

As  a  "  bow-legg'd  bunch  o'  hay." 

He'd  mentioned  my  dishonest  phiz 
And  called  me  "  blattin'  calf  "— 

We  both  enjoyed  this  joke  o'  his 
And  had  a  hearty  laugh. 


53 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


But  when  I  up  and  says  to  him, 
"  Yer  necktie  ain't  on  straight," 

"  I  didn't  think  ye'd  say  that,  Jim," 
He  hissed  with  looks  o'  hate. 

And  then  he  lit  a  fresh  segar 
And  turned  away  and  swore  — 

So  I  knowed  I'd  brung  the  joke  too  far 
And  we  wasn't  friends  no  more. 


54 


THE  GHOST  OF 
SIMEON  BEAN. 


THE  GHOST  OF 
SIMEON  BEAN 


I  was  all  alone  on  the  tarboard  watch 

A-busying  of  meself 
A-driving  nails  and  dusting  the  sails 

And  laying  'em  up  on  a  shelf. 

I  was  that  engaged  in  me  ardyous  work 

It  was  minutes  before  I  seen, 
A-lighting  a  match  on  the  rooster  hatch, 

The  ghost  of  Simeon  Bean. 

When  I  seen  who  it  was  I  says  to  meself, 
"  Oh  scuttle  me  shoes,  what  a  bore ! " 

For  I  knowed  by  his  walk  he  was  going  to  talk 
As  he  done  in  his  life  before. 


57 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


So  I  says  to  the  ghost  of  Simeon  Bean, 
"  Ye're  as  welcome  as  you  can  be, 

But  Fm  busy  to-night  a-putting  things  right, 
And  I  can't  converse  with  ye." 

"  I  can  tell  ye  a  tale,"  says  Simeon  Bean, 
"  As  would  slither  your  marrer  cold." 

"Ye  can,"  says  I,  concealing  a  sigh, 
For  I'd  heard  all  his  yarns  of  old. 

"  I've  went  and  seen,"  says  Simeon  Bean, 

In  a  solemn,  mysterious  way, 
So  I  answers  polite  as  a  shipmate  might, 

"Why  Simeon,  you  don't  say!" 

"  I  have  been  and  went,"  says  Simeon  Bean, 
With  the  wheeze  that  I  knowed  so  well. 

And  I  says  as  I  tries  a  look  of  surprise, 
"You  reely  don't  mean  to  tell!" 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  If  you'd  saw  what  I  done,"  says  Simeon  Bean, 

Which  same  he  had  said  before, — 
But  I  gave  not  a  darn  for  his  musty  old  yarn, 

And  I  wouldn't  endure  no  more. 

So  I  says  to  the  ghost  of  Simeon  Bean, 

"  Git  back  to  your  watery  bier ! 
For  I  know  dumd  well  that  the  tales  you  tell 

Is  the  wust  that  I  ever  did  hear. 

"  And  it's  right  that  the  dead  'uns  should  tell  no 
tales, 

And  the  rule  it  applies  to  you. 
You'd  talk  all  night  if  I  stayed  polite, 

But  that  I  refuses  to  do." 

Then  Simeon,  throwing  a  ghostly  stare 
That  gimbled  me  heart  clean  through, 

Says,  "  Where  is  the  dime  that  ye  borrowed  one 

time 
And  the  knife  that  I  lent  to  you?  " 


59 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


I  was  founded  dumb  and  paralyzed  numb 

By  the  terrible  words  he  said, 
Till  I  seen  him  glide  right  over  the  side 

Down  into  the  oyster  bed. 

And  I  says  to  the  Mate,  "  That  Simeon  Bean 
Was  the  longedest  windedest  fool 

That  ever  croke  an  alamanac  joke 
Or  talked  the  leg  off  a  stool. 

"  And  if  ever  I  sees  the  sperrit  of  Bean 

A-walking  around  the  mast, 
I'll  let  him  walk,  but  I'll  smother  his  talk." 

"Aye,  aye,"  says  the  Mate,  "avast!" 


6o 


THE  CONSTANT 
CANNIBAL  MAIDEN 


THE   CONSTANT 
CANNIBAL  MAIDEN 


Far  oh  far  is  the  Mango  island, 

Far  oh  far  is  the  tropical  sea  — 
Palms  aslant  and  the  hills  a-smile,  and 

A  Cannibal  maiden  a-waitin'  for  me. 

I've  been  deceived  by  a  damsel  Spanish 
And  Indian  maidens  both  red  and  brown, 

A  black-eyed  Turk  and  a  blue-eyed  Danish 
And  a  Puritan  lassie  of  Salem  town. 

For  the  Puritan  Prue  she  sets  in  the  offing 
A-castin'  'er  eyes  at  a  tall  Marine, 

And  the  Spanish  minx  is  the  wust  at  scoffing 
Of  all  of  the  wimming  I  ever  seen. 


I 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


But  the  cannibal  maid  is  a  simple  creetur 

With  a  habit  of  gazin*  over  the  sea, 
A-hopin'  in  vain  for  the  day  1*11  meet  *er 

And  constant  and  faithful  a-yearnin'  for  me. 

Me  Turkish  sweetheart  she  played  me  double  — 
Eloped  with  the  Sultan  Harum  In-Deed, 

And  the  Danish  damsel  she  made  me  trouble 
When  she  ups  and  married  an  oblong  Swede. 

But  there's  truth  in  the  heart  of  the  maid  of  Mango, 
Though  her  cheeks  is  black  like  the  kiln-baked 
cork, 

As  she  sets  in  the  shade  of  the  whingo-whango 
A-waitin'  for  me  —  with  a  knife  and  fork. 


64 


SEA  GUDGE 


When  down  in  the  slime,  -without  ary  word  o'  warnin', 
The  Gudge  I  seen  in  the  seaweed  green  a-winkin' 
his  indolent  eye."  ,  , 


THE  DEEP 
SEA  GUDGE 


The  deep  sea  Gudge  what  lives  on  the  sandy  bot 
tom, 
(Is  the  fish  o'  the  sea  afeard  o'  we  or  us'ns  afeard 

o'  they?) 
Feelers  and  gills  and  hookers  and  claws  he's  got 

'em 

Trailin'  behind  and  j'inted  and  j'ined  in  an  orful, 
onnatteral  way. 

You  fish  for  herring  with  sinkers  and  hooks  and 

yankers, 

You  fish  for  trout  with  a  silk  line  stout  and  a 
little  moskeeter  fly, 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


But  the  deep  sea  Gudge  he  nibbles  at  chains  and 

anchors 

And  gobbles  at  rafts  and  lumber  crafts  and  battle 
ships  hurryin*  by. 

We  lay  one  noon  in  the  lea  o*  the  dry  Melessas, 
And  we  pulled  right  main  at  our  anchor  chain, 

but  found  she  refused  to  budge, 
Then   we   shuddered   and   winked   and   whispered 

together,  "Bless  us! 

Our  anchor's  cast  and  she's  held  tight  fast  in  the 
teeth  o'  the  deep  sea  Gudge ! " 

It  was  me  that  dove  in  the  slith  o'  the  sea  next 

mornin* 
To  see  if  the  Gudge  was  willin'  to  budge  for  a 

sailor  that's  slick  and  sly, 
When  down   in  the  slime,   without  ary  word   o' 

warnin', 

The  Gudge  I  seen  in  the  seaweed  green  a-wunkin* 
his  indolent  eye. 


68 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


And  the  anchor  he  held  like  a  quid  in  his  teeth  and 

chawed  it  — 
I   couldn't   but   look,   though    I    shuddered   and 

shook  at  the  terrible  sight  I  see  — 
For  the  barb  was  caught  in  the  roof  of  his  mouth 

and  clawed  it 

While  the  Gudge  cried,  "  Help !  "  with  a  dolorous 
yelp  that  frizzled  the  blood  o*  me. 

"  O  Gudge,"  says  I,  "  It's  the  anchor  of  ourn  you're 

eatin' " 

"  Gwan  away  if  ye've  nothin*  to  say,"  says  the 

Gudge  in  a  glummerin*  grouch, 
"  For  I've  swallered  the  prong  and  me  pain  is  be 
yond  repeatin'," 

Then  he  flibbered  and  flobbed  and  hollered  and 
sobbed  with  a  piscatorial  "  Ouch ! " 


69 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


"  Full  orften  I've  swallered  a  Chinee  junk  and  a 

dory, 
And  I've  made  a  snack  of  a  fishin'  smack,  that 

bein'  a  tender  treat, 
But  me  jaws  grow  weak  as  me  head  grows  old  and 

hoary 

And   I  never  can  rest  when  I  can't  digest  the 
copper  and  steel  I  eat. 

"  O  wurra-wur-oo !  I'm  tellin*  to  you  me  troubles 
That  you  may  judge  of  the  pain  o'  the  Gudge 

whose  stummick  is  full  o'  ships," 
Then  he  blubbered  again  till  the  sea  was  a-brim 

with  bubbles 

And   twisted   his   face   to   a   glum   grimace   and 
wrinkled  his  writhy  lips. 


70 


OF     A     LANDSMAN 


"  Don't  take  on  so,"  I  says,  "  and  I'll  try  to  ease 

you." 
So  I  signaled  above  till  a  line  was  hove  with  a 

crowbar  tied  thereto, 
Then  I  says  to  the  Gudge,  "  Here's  a  trick  o'  me 

own  to  please  you. 

Now  look  straight  south  and   open  yer  mouth 
and  I'll  see  what  a  man  can  do." 

Then  I  druv  the  bar  in  the  crease  of  his  shining 

tushes 
And  twisted  and  tugged  and  jiggered  and  lugged 

with  a  mighty,  tremenjus  pry, 
But  the  Gudge  winced  not  at  me  wrenches  and 

pulls  and  pushes, 

Till  there  riz  a  tear  like  a  gallon  o'  beer  to  his 
indolent,  rollin*  eye. 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"Oh,   stop!"  says  he,  "it's  the  sensitive  Gudge 

you're  killin' — 
It's  kind   you   are,   but  drop   the   bar,   for  yer 

efforts  they  ain't  no  use." 
But  I  yanked  once  more  with  a  yank  that  was  more 

than  willin'. 

And  I  tugged  again  with  me  might  and  main  till 
the  anchor  and  chain  came  loose. 

Then  he  gawped  at  me  with  a  look  o'  surprise  and 

puzzle, 
(Is  the  fish  o'  the  sea  afeard  o'  we  or  us'ns  afeard 

o'  they?) 

And  seein'  the  anchor  hangin'  close  to  his  muzzle 
He  gave  a  gulp  and  swallered  it  up  in  a  solemn 
and  obstinate  way. 


72 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  Oh  murder ! "  he  cried  as  again  it  stuck  in  his 

gullet, 
"  O  pull  it  free,  it's  a-hurtin'  of  me  —  O  slither 

me  deaf  and  dumb !  " 
"  You've  druven  the  cork,"  says  I,  "  and  you'll  have 

to  pull  it  — 

And  I'll  take  no  fudge  from  a  deep  sea  Gudge," 
so  back  to  the  ship  I  swum. 

And  the  deep  sea  Gudge  what  lives  on  the  floor  o' 

the  ocean 
He  chaws  in  vain  at  our  anchor  chain  which 

neither  will  break  nor  budge, 
And  our  bark  rides  high  with  never  a  move  nor 

motion 

While  we  cusses  the  day  we  was  fastened  to  stay 
by  the  whim  o'  the  deep  sea  Gudge. 


73 


REMINISCENCE 


REMINISCENCE 


When  many  years  we'd  been  apart 

I  met  Sad  Jim  ashore 
And  set  to  talkin'  heart  to  heart 

About  the  days  of  yore. 

"Do  you  recall  them  happy  days?  " 
"  I  don't,"  says  Jim,  "  do  you?  " 

I  speaks  up  hearty  and  I  says, 
"  Be  jiggered  if  I  do !  " 

"  Then  why  are  you  recallin'  of 

The  joyful  days  gone  by, 
The  songs  and  girls  we  ust  to  love?" 

"What  songs  and  girls?"  says  I. 


77 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"  I  guess  I  have  fergot,"  says  Jim 

And  started  N  N  E. 
It  seems  I  had  the  best  o'  him 

And  him  the  best  o'  me. 


THE  DUTIFUL 
MARINER 


THE  DUTIFUL 
MARINER 


'Twas  off  the  Eastern  Filigrees  — 
Wizzle  the  pipes  o'ertop! — 

When  the  gallant  Captain  of  the  Cheese 
Began  to  skip  and  hop. 

"  Oh  stately  man  and  old  beside, 

Why  dost  gymnastics  do? 
Is  such  example  dignified 

To  set  before  your  crew?" 

"  Oh  hang  me  crew,"  the  Captain  cried, 

"  And  scuttle  of  me  ship. 
If  I'm  the  skipper,  blarst  me  hide ! 

Ain't  I  supposed  to  skip? 


81 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"  I'm  growing  old,"  the  Captain  said ; 

"  Me  dancing  days  are  done ; 
But  while  I'm  skipper  of  this  ship 

I'll  skip  with  any  one. 

"  I'm  growing  grey,"  I  heard  him  say, 
"  And  I  cannot  rest  or  sleep 

While  under  me  the  troubled  sea 
Lies  forty  spasms  deep. 

"  Lies  forty  spasms  deep,"  he  said ; 

"  But  still  me  trusty  sloop 
Each  hour,  I  wot,  goes  many  a  knot 

And  many  a  bow  and  loop. 

"  The  hours  are  full  of  knots,"  he  said, 

"  Untie  them  if  ye  can. 
In  vain  I've  tried,  for  Time  and  Tied 

Wait  not  for  any  man. 


82 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  Me  fate  is  hard,"  the  old  man  sobbed, 

"  And  I  am  sick  and  sore. 
Me  aged  limbs  of  rest  are  robbed 

And  skipping  is  a  bore. 

"  But  Duty  is  the  seaman's  boast, 

And  on  this  gallant  ship 
You'll  find  the  skipper  at  his  post 

As  long  as  he  can  skip." 

And  so  the  Captain  of  the  Cheese 

Skipped  on  again  as  one 
Who  lofty  satisfaction  sees 

In  duty  bravely  done. 


THE  BATTLE  OF 
CLOTHESLINE  BAY 


/ 


What  is  the  scent  from  yon  vessel  blown  ?  \  " 


THE  BATTLE  OF 
CLOTHESLINE  BAY 


The  neatest  officer  on  the  coast  — 

Hang  your  sails  to  the  whiffletree  slat! — 

Was  the  famous  Admiral  Buttertoast 
Who  sailed  the  historical  Derby  Hat. 

Flutter  the  ensign,  whittle  the  screw 

For  the  neat  old  Admiral  and  his  crew! 

His  sailormen  were  the  tidiest  tars 

That  sought  renown  'neath  the  billowing  flags 
As  they  stood  in  place  on  the  decks  and  spars 

With  carpet  sweepers  and  dusting  rags. 
And  Monday  mornings  the  sails  they'd  reef 
And  iron  'em  out  like  a  handkerchief. 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


"  Men,"  said  the  Admiral,  "  I  abhor 

To  litter  my  boat  with  the  shot  and  shell, 

And  it's  very  untidy  to  go  to  war 

And  scent  my  sails  with  the  powder  smell ; 

So  load  the  cannon  with  scouring  soap 

And  sachet  powder  of  heliotrope," 

About  this  period  on  the  main 

Sailed  the  slatternly  pirate,  Grimy  Dan, 

Whose  slipshod  methods  were  terribly  plain 
In  the  state  of  his  vessel,  the  Frying  Pan, 

Where  the   decks  were   littered   with  bottles  and 
crumbs 

And  the  masts  were  smeared  by  his  gory  thumbs. 

So  the  grim  marauders  of  Grimy  Dan 

Sailed  the  greasy  Frying  Pan  into  the  bay 

Where  the  Derby  Hat  all  spick  and  span 
A-drying  her  clothes  in  the  offing  lay. 

"Ho!"  cried  the  Pirate,  and  likewise,  "Hum! 
Edam  Schnapps  and  Jamaica  Rum! — 




OF    A    LANDSMAN 


"  By  me  bloody  yards  and  me  slippery  plank, 
What  is  the  scent  from  yon  vessel  blown?  " 

"  That,"  quoth  the  bos'n,  Terrible  Hank, 
"  Is  washing  powder  and  eau  de  Cologne." 

"  Heave-ho,  mateys,"  said  Dan,  "  and  away ! 

I  risk  no  battles  on  washing  day." 

"  Friends,"  said  the  Admiral,  "  I  confess 
I'm  glad  to  be  rid  of  the  rude  galoots. 

They  might  have  caused  a  terrible  mess 

By  tracking  our  decks  with  their  muddy  boots. 

Dear  me  suds !  what  a  shock  it  would  be 

To  a  shipshape,  housekeeping  man  like  me ! " 

So  the  Frying  Pan  with  her  tattered  crew 
Like  a  dingy  spectre  slunk  from  the  scene 

And  the  Admiral  neat,  when  the  foe  withdrew, 
Sent  a  wireless  telegram  to  his  Queen, 

"  I  beg  to  report,  if  your  Majesty  please, 

I  have  lathered  the  Pirates  and  scoured  the  seas." 


89 


THE  BOAT 
THAT  AIN'T 


THE  BOAT 
THAT  AIN'T 


A  stout,  fat  boat  for  gailin' 

And  a  long,  slim  boat  for  squall; 

But  there  isn't  no  fun  in  sailin* 
When  you  haven't  no  boat  at  all. 

For  what  is  the  use  o'  calkin' 
A  tub  with  a  mustard  pot  — 

And  what  is  the  use  o*  talkin' 
Of  a  boat  that  you  haven't  got? 


93 


CAPTAIN  PINK  OF 
THE  PEPPERMINT 


CAPTAIN  PINK  OF 
THE  PEPPERMINT 


Old  Capting  Pink  of  the  Peppermint, 

Though  kindly  at  heart  and  good, 
Had  a  blunt,  bluff  way  of  a-gittin'  'is  say 

That  we  all  of  us  understood. 

When  he  brained  a  man  with  a  pingle  spike 

Or  plastered  a  seaman  flat, 
We  should  'a'  been  blowed,  but  we  all  of  us  knowed 

That  he  didn't  mean  nothin'  by  that. 

For  Capting  Pink  was  a  bashful  man 

And  leary  of  talk  as  death, 
So  he  easily  saw  that  a  crack  in  the  jaw 

Was  better  than  wastin*  'is  breath. 


97 


Sometimes  he'd  stroll  from  the  ostrich  hatch 

Jest  a-feelin'  a  trifle  rum, 
Then  he'd  hang  us  tars  to  the  masts  and  spars 

By  a  heel  or  an  ear  or  a  thumb. 

When  he  done  like  that,  as  he  oft  *times  did, 
We  winked  at  each  other  and  smole, 

And  we  snickered  in  glee  and  says,  says  we, 
"Ain't  that  like  the  dear  old  soul!" 

I  was  wonderful  fond  of  old  Capting  Pink, 

And  Pink  he  was  fond  o'  me, 
(As  he  frequently  said  when  he  battered  me  head 

Or  sousled  me  into  the  sea). 

When  he  sewed  the  carpenter  up  in  a  sack, 

And  fired  the  cook  from  a  gun, 
We'd  a-thunk  that  'is  rule  was  a  little  mite  crool, 

If  we  hadn't  knowed  Pink  as  we  done. 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


Old  Capting  Pink  of  the  Peppermint, 

We  all  of  us  loved  'im  so 
That  we  waited  one  night  till  the  tide  was  right 

And  the  funnels  was  set  for  a  blow. 

Then  we  hauled  'im  out  of  'is  feather  bed 
And  hammered  the  dear  old  bloke ; 

And  he  understood,  (as  we  knowed  he  would) 
That  we  done  what  we  did  as  a  joke. 

Then  we  roguishly  tumbled  'im  over  the  side, 
And  quickly  reversin*  the  screws, 

We  hurried  away  to  Mehitabel  Bay 
For  a  jolly  piratical  cruise. 

Old  Capting  Pink  of  the  Peppermint  — 
I'm  shocked  and  I'm  pained  to  say 

That  there's  few  you'll  find  of  the  Capting's  kind 
In  this  here  degenerate  day. 


99 


VAIN 
HOPE! 


VAIN 
HOPE! 


With  all  me  travels  on  the  seas, 
With  all  me  pain  and  joy, 

I  never  met 

An  infant  yet 
Who  knowed  me  as  a  boy. 

They  never  speak  o'  years  gone  by 
When  I  was  young  and  free. 

This  may  be  right, 

But  it  is  quite 
Discouragin'  to  me. 


103 


WHAT  HO! 
SHE  BLOWS 


WHAT  HO! 
SHE  BLOWS 


Yes,  I  am  the  bloke  what  shovelled  the  coke 

On  the  whaler,  Lally-ma-Loo ; 
And  the  gallant  soul  what  scuttled  the  coal 

Is  the  same  that's  talking  to  you. 

We  stud  in  the  bight  that  starry  night 

A-tacking  agin  the  gale 
When  the  Capting  shouts,  "  She  spins,  she  spouts ! 

Yo-ho  and  avast,  the  whale ! " 

(Of  course  you  know  that  the  yell,  "Yo-ho!" 
Should  mean,  "  Slack  stidder  and  cast !  " 

And  you  understand  the  simple  command 
When  the  Capting  hollers,  "Avast!") 


107 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


So  we  on  with  our  coats  and  we  manned  the  boats 
For  the  point  where  the  whale  she  blew, 

And  we  carried  aboard  a  bundle  'o  cord, 
A  pearl  handled  knife  and  a  screw. 

"  O  Capting  Nye,"  I  says,  says  I, 

"  Now  what  are  we  going  to  do, 
In  such  a  gale  to  murder  a  whale 

With  a  pearl  handled  knife  and  a  screw?  " 

But  the  Capting's  gaze  was  over  the  haze 

And  never  a  word  spoke  he, 
And  never  a  speech  and  never  a  screech, 

And  never  a  word  to  me. 

Till  he  says  and  he  said  as  he  p'inted  ahead, 

Right  straight  at  the  monster's  fin, 
"  His  actions  denote  that  his  heart's  in  his  throat, 

So  jab  him  under  the  chin !  " 


1 08 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


So  he  held  the  screw  —  I'm  a-tellin'  you  true  — 

And  he  handed  the  knife  to  me ; 
And  gripping  the  sheath  in  me  wisdom  teeth 

I  plumped  straight  into  the  sea. 

Yes,  out  I  dumb  and  over  I  swum 

Right  under  the  monster's  fin, 
Where  I  opens  me  knife,  and  regardless  of  life, 

I  jabs  him  under  the  chin. 

Then  the  whale  piped  high  a  leviathan  cry 

And  he  guggled  in  huge  despair ; 
Then  he  splattered  our  sail  and  stud  on  his  tail 

And  turned  nine  flips  in  the  air. 

"  My  eye,  my  eye !  "  says  Capting  Nye, 

"I  didn't  expect  that  there, 
That  a  full  sized  whale  would  stand  on  his  tail 

And  turn  nine  flips  in  the  air." 


109 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


And  he  says,  says  he,  "  It  appears  to  me, 

That  the  animal  must  be  vexed. 
We'd  better  be  going  —  there  isn't  no  knowing 

What  he  will  be  doing  next." 

So  we  switched  our  tack  and  we  hurried  back 

To  the  jolly  old  Lally-ma-Loo, 
Me  holding  the  cord  which  we  had  aboard 

And  the  Capting  holding  the  screw. 

And  he  says  to  me,  "  If  a  way  there  be 

To  murder  a  whale  in  a  storm 
It's   to   bandage   his   eyes  and   smother   his  cries 

With  a  bottle  o'  chloroform." 


no 


INDUSTRIOUS 
CARPENTER  DAN 


INDUSTRIOUS 
CARPENTER  DAN 


An  honest  man  what  loves  his  trade 

Deserves  me  honest  grip; 
And  Carpenter  Dan  was  a  handy  man 

To  have  about  a  ship. 

The  things  he  couldn't  hammer  up 
Them  things  he  hammered  down; 

He  sawed  the  rails  and  spliced  the  sails 
And  done  his  bizness  brown. 

He  scroll-sawed  all  the  masts  and  spars 

And  varnished  'em  with  ile, 
Then  he  shingled  the  poop  of  our  gallant  sloop 

With  a  gable,  Queen  Anne  style. 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


Along  the  basement  porthole  sills 

He  worked  for  hours  and  hours 
A-building  tiers  of  jardineers 

And  planting  'em  with  flowers. 

He  filled  the  deck  with  rustic  seats 
And  many  a  grapevine  swing  — 

Yes,  a  handy  man  was  Carpenter  Dan, 
For  he  thought  of  everything. 

Then  pretty  soon  he  got  a  scheme 

To  ease  the  Capting's  cares, 
So  he  fitted  the  sloop  with  a  fine  front  stoop, 

With  rugs  and  Morris  chairs. 

And  there  we  sat  a-drinking  tea, 

The  Capting  and  his  crew, 
When  we  heard  arise,  to  our  great  surprise, 

A  nawful  hulleroo. 


114 


OF     A     LANDSMAN 


The  Capting  looked  across  the  rail 

And  sort  of  chawed  his  lip  — 
For  Carpenter  Dan  was  building  an 

Extension  to  the  ship! 

"  Avast  there,  Dan !  "  the  Capting  cried, 
"What  have  you  gone  to  do?" 

"  Don't  bother  me,  man,"  said  Carpenter  Dan, 
"  Fm  fixing  things  for  you." 

Then  he  toe-nailed  on  a  rafter  beam 

And  sawed  a  two-by-four ; 
Then  he  gave  a  yank  to  a  six-inch  plank 

And  started  on  the  floor. 

So  Dan  he  worked  three  solid  weeks 

Till  on  a  happy  day, 
A  double  craft  with  a  Queen  Anne  aft 

We  sailed  into  the  bay. 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


Along  the  basement  porthole  sills 

He  worked  for  hours  and  hours 
A-building  tiers  of  jardineers 

And  planting  'em  with  flowers. 

He  filled  the  deck  with  rustic  seats 
And  many  a  grapevine  swing  — 

Yes,  a  handy  man  was  Carpenter  Dan, 
For  he  thought  of  everything. 

Then  pretty  soon  he  got  a  scheme 

To  ease  the  Capting's  cares, 
So  he  fitted  the  sloop  with  a  fine  front  stoop, 

With  rugs  and  Morris  chairs. 

And  there  we  sat  a-drinking  tea, 

The  Capting  and  his  crew, 
When  we  heard  arise,  to  our  great  surprise, 

A  nawful  hulleroo. 


114 


J 

i. 

O 

F 

A 

L 

A 

N 

DS 

M 

A 

N 

§] 

a 

The  Capting  looked  across  the  rail 

And  sort  of  chawed  his  lip  — 
For  Carpenter  Dan  was  building  an 

Extension  to  the  ship! 

"Avast  there,  Dan!"  the  Capting  cried, 
"What  have  you  gone  to   do?" 

"  Don't  bother  me,  man,"  said  Carpenter  Dan, 
"  I'm  fixing  things  for  you." 

Then  he  toe-nailed  on  a  rafter  beam 

And  sawed  a  two-by-four; 
Then  he  gave  a  yank  to  a  six-inch  plank 

And  started  on  the  floor. 

So  Dan  he  worked  three  solid  -weeks 

Till  on  a  happy  day, 
A  double  craft  with  a  Queen  Anne  aft 

We  sailed  into  the  bay. 


i : 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


And  from  that  bonny  lean-to  boat 
We  vowed  no  more  to  roam; 

From  window  panes  to  weather  vanes 
We  loved  our  floating  home. 

And  as  we  sat  among  the  vines 

On  many  an  ocean  trip 
We  vowed  that  Dan  was  a  handy  man 

To  have  about  the  ship. 


116 


THE  BALLAD  OF 
HAGENSACK 


THE   BALLAD  OF 
HAGENSACK 


I'd  been  away  a  year,  a  year 

A-sailing  of  the  main 
When  I  came  back  to  Hagensack 

To  see  the  town  again. 

"  I  oughter  weep,"  says  I,  says  I  — 

"  I  wonder  why  I  don't? 
I  know  I  shan't  —  perhaps  I  can't, 

Perhaps  again  I  won't. 

"  But  where  is  all  the  friends,  the  friends 
What  once  was  blithe  and  free? 

I  look  to  find  that  they  have  pined 
Away  with  thoughts  o'  me." 


119 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


And  so  I  sought  the  house,  the  house 

Where  lived  me  old  friend,  Bill. 
"'Tis   sad,"  I   said,   "to  think  he's  dead  — 

To  think  that  grief  can  kill !  " 

"  Is  big  Bill  Smith  to  home,  to  home, 

Is  Smith  to  home?"  says  I. 
"  Oh  yes,  he's  here  a-drinkin*  beer 

And  larkin'  to  the  sky." 

"  A-larkin*  to  the  sky !  "  says  I, 

"  And  him,  the  faithless  bloke, 
Was  that  bereft  the  day  I  left 

I  thought  that  he  would  croke." 

Then  I  thought  of  Mamie  Jones,-mie  Jones, 

What  was  me  finansay; 
It  seemed  that  she,  in  decency, 

Would  have  to  pine  away. 


120 


OF    A     LANDSMAN 


"  Is  Mamie  Jones  to  home,  to  home, 
Her  that  was  deep  enthralled?" 

"  Oh,  no,  she's  out  with  Mister  Prout  - 
I'll  tell  her  that  you  called." 

"  Oh  that  you  needn't  do, —  dn't  do, 

You  needn't  do  that  same. 
Why  ain't  she  cold  beneath  the  mold? 

O  careless,  careless  Mame! 

"  One  time  I  read  about,  afcout 

A  tar  named  Tim  McGee 
And  people  sighed  and  up  and  died 

The  day  he  put  to  sea; 

"  But  not  in  Hagensack,-ensack 

Was  such  a  story  writ, 
For  I  believe  the  more  I  leave 

The  healthier  they  git." 


121 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


Then  straight  I  went  and  put,  and  put 

A  turnip  on  a  stick 
And  with  a  tack  wrote,  "  HAGENSACK, 

THE  FICKLEST  OF  THE  FICK." 

And  then  I  took  the  turnip  up 

And  fed  it  to  a  cow. 
"  I'll  ne'er  go  back  to  Hagensack," 

I  says,  and  kept  me  vow. 


122 


ANDY  CARUSO 


ANDY 
CARUSO 


Did  ye  ever  meet  Andy  Caruso 
The  mate  o'  the  Nannygoat  G.? 

If  ye  hain't  ye  should  certainly  do  so, 
Fer  a  wonderful  person  is  he. 

When  his  ship  is  far  out  in  the  ocean 
He  swims  in  the  wake  o'  the  bark 

And  whistles  with  glee  and  emotion 
And  swears  he'll  be  et  by  a  shark. 

He  speaks  forty  langwidges,  partly, 
Which  ye  can't  understand  if  ye  try. 

If  ye  tell  'im  the  same  he'll  say  smartly, 
"  Quite  natteral  —  neither  can  I !  " 


125 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


He  shoots  off  a  gun  and  looks  cheerful  - 
Whenever  he  makes  a  mistake, 

And  he  talks  in  'is  sleep  somethin'  fearful 
Three  fourths  o'  the  time  he's  awake. 

He  has  the  pee-cooliar-est  trousseau 
Which  he  wears  on  the  Nannygoat  G. ; 

Yes,  ye  ought  to  meet  Andy  Caruso, 
Fer  a  wonderful  person  is  he. 


126 


AUNT  NERISSA'S 
MUFFIN 


AUNT  NERISSA'S 
MUFFIN 


It  was  touching  when  I  started 

For  to  run  away  to  sea. 
All  the  town  was  broken  hearted, 

As  I  knowed  that  they  would  be. 

And  me  Aunt  Nerissa  Duffin, 
Standing  weeping  on  the  spot, 

Handed  me  a  graham  muffin 

And  she  says,  "  Take  care,  its  hot ! 

"  Though  you've  been  a  bit  unruly 

We  are  awful  fond  of  ye. 
I  remain  yours  very  truly, 

Ever  thine,  Nerissa  D." 

129 


NAUTICAL     LAYS 


Then  she  had  a  bad  hy-sterick 
And  she  fell  down  in  a  faint 

Till  they  raised  her  with  a  derrick  — 
Light  and  airy?  —  Aunty  ain't 

So  I  left  Nerissa  Duffin 

Waving  of  her  handkerchee 
And  I  took  her  graham  muffin 

As  I  sadly  put  to  sea. 

Says  the  mate,  "Why  don't  ye  eat  it?" 
But  me  youthful  head  I  shook; 

For  I  knowed  —  nor  dare  repeat  it  — 
Aunt  Nerissa  couldn't  cook. 

Then  we  sailed  to  De  Janeiro 

Where  we  spent  a  week  in  Wales, 

And  enjoyed  ourselves  in  Cairo 
Tossing  oysters  to  the  whales. 


130 


OF     A     LANDSMAN 


Next  we  visited  Virginia 
Loading  almanacks  as  freight, 

Then  we  tarried  in  Sardinia 

Where  we  caught  sardines  for  bait. 

But  when  it  was  late  September 
Something  frightened  of  us  all; 

What  it  was  I  don't  remember, 
Why  it  was  I  don't  recall. 

But  I  says  to  Capting  Casmar, 
"  Be  we  on  the  land  or  sea?  " 

But  the  Capting  had  the  asthma 
And  he  wouldn't  speak  to  me. 

Then  the  pilot  on  the  trestle 
He  began  to  rip  and  snort 

And  he  hollered,  "  Back  the  vessel !  " 
Till  the  ship  arrived  in  port. 


NAUTICAL    LAYS 


And  there  stood  Nerissa  Duffin 

Waiting  for  me  on  the  spot 
And  she  says,  "  Where  is  me  muffin? 

Wretched  boy,  have  you  f ergot?  " 

"  Do  you  think  I  could  ferget  it?  " 

Answers  I  in  grief  and  pain, 
"Saved!"  she  cried,  "I  thought  you'd   et  it 

And  she  swooned  away  again. 


132 


MEDITATIONS  OF 
A  MARINER 


MEDITATIONS  OF 
A  MARINER 


A-watchin'  how  the  sea  behaves 
For  hours  and  hours  I  sit ; 

And  I  know  the  sea  is  full  o'  waves  — 
I've  often  noticed  it. 

For  on  the  deck  each  starry  night 
The  wild  waves  and  the  tame 

I  counts  and  knows  'em  all  by  sight 
And  some  of  'em  by  name. 

And  then  I  thinks  a  cove  like  me 
Ain't  got  no  right  to  roam ; 

For  I'm  homesick  when  I  puts  to  sea 
And  seasick  when  I'm  home. 

135 


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